Why I Won’t be Visiting a Cemetery on Memorial Day
Memorial Day is tomorrow and this year the holiday is really stirring up emotions. I have always given personal thanks to the veterans who have died serving our country, and remembrance to loved ones who have passed. The service people of our country deserve more than I could ever do as a single person, but my appreciation, support, respect, and observances are all I can provide.
Until this year, I never once visited a grave on Memorial Day. I actually really hate cemeteries to be quite honest. I just feel so melancholy walking though a cemetery. The thought of limiting myself to only feeling a connection to a deceased loved one’s grave makes me uneasy. I have never felt like visiting one’s final resting place is the only way I can stay connected to them.
Now that my dad has been gone for 5 months and about 2 weeks I have only visited his grave once. I did make a memorial garden in my yard for my dad, but I don’t feel like I need to visit his grave to talk to him. I can talk to him while I water my garden, while I am eating, and even when I am doing laundry.
Gosh, I get true signs that he is with me all the time that I won’t even get into. I know that he knows I love and miss him, and that he will always be in my thoughts. I just don’t feel like visiting his physical grave makes me a better person, less respectful, or more connected to him.
When you think about it, our bodies are only a shell that encompasses our souls. Yes, his shell is buried in a cemetery like most, but his soul is set free. He is around his loved ones, and probably having a blast! Why would he want to hang around a cemetery when he could be traveling the world!
I never really get too overly personal on here and I am most certainly not trying to be disrespectful. I am just one of those who would rather celebrate someone’s life on earth than mourn their loss. I love my dad, and all my family who have passed, but I just don’t feel like my lack of visiting a grave changes that.
I respect everyone’s thoughts, but I just felt like I had to get this out there. Will you be visiting a cemetery on Memorial Day?
Daisy
I completely understand where you are coming from. I do not like to visit cemeteries either and feel connected in my own way.
Sarah B
I completely understand and agree with you. I don’t recall the last time I visited a loved one’s grave. I used to go every Memorial Day with my nana and poppa and we’d plant flowers and clean up around my great-grandparent’s sites. As an adult, I don’t feel that a cemetery is the only place to be “with” my loved ones who have passed. I actually do not even go up to the casket at wakes, because I don’t want to remember them in that moment, I want to keep the memories of them when they were alive. I’m sorry for your loss, but I am so glad that you can feel your dad’s presence!! <3
Amy
Thank you! Yes, I know way too many people who would scoff at me for even thinking this way. However, my beliefs do not limit me to that one place. When I did visit my father;s resting place I found it to be very awkward and my thoughts felt forced and unnatural.
HONEY BEAR
I DON’T REALLY LIKE FUNERALS AND SEEING MY LOVED ONES IN THEIR CASKET’S. I KNOW THEY ARE ALL IN HEAVEN WAITING TO BE REUNITED WITH ME SOMEDAY. I HOWEVER DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GOING TO CEMETERIES. MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE WE HAVE OUR OWN FAMILY CEMETERY ON OUR OWN LAND. THIS GOES BACK 7 GENERATIONS. WHEN I GO THERE I FEEL CONNECTED TO RELATIVES I NEVER KNEW BUT GREW UP HEARING STORIES ABOUT. IT’S A PEACEFUL THOUGHTFUL PLACE FOR ME.